Today...was a really good day already!

I just have some random thoughts about life that I wanted to write down today. Because for the last six years lots of things in our lives as far as relationships goes have been full of drama, sadness, and insanity. You see when people divorce and have adult children it brings a whole set of problems that didn't exist previously for those adult children, but then when you throw a 'new' person into the mix as either the new wife or new husband life gets a little topsy turvy in those same children! I used to believe when you divorce then it's done and over but life has proven to me that this is just not the case if there are children involved even if they are adult children. I was very insecure when I married Chad 6 years ago, because the baggage I brought with me from my previous life didn't lend to much confidence that someone could love me for me. So I was afraid of everyone and everything. I have 'grown' in the past several months to realize (probably been growing for 6 years:)) but anyway to realize that Chad loves me and we were meant to be together. It does not however delete his life before me just as me loving him does not delete my life before him. We took a trip to Texas in January that was really enlightening to me in a way I hadn't noticed before. My three kids that were there in Texas had a difficult time because of the torn 'relationship' of their father and me. We have issues, I have been plenty willing to give up those issues and have a decent relationship with my ex for the sake of my kids and the sake of myself but he can't let go of the past. He could when he was married to his second wife but now that I am remarried it is all a different story. Anyway I saw how that was tearing at my 3 children and I realized it just isn't worth it. Chad and I have had that kind of relationship in the past 6 years with his ex Gretchen and I realized it must tear at his kids in the same way it was tearing at mine. I have given a lot of thought for probably the past several months (since last May) about how short our lives really are and how much we miss when we resolve to let pettiness and our own selfishness get in the way of 'relationships' and how they should be. We have missed out on grandchildrens' births, and so much more with some of his children and my sons and I don't want to miss anything else and I know Chad doesn't. He is such a kind hearted and loving man and he loves deeply.So I reached out to Gretchen and asked if we could mend the relationship for the sake of us all. She was more than willing to work on this with us. We just had a really good lunch with Gretchen and Kaden. We talked about issues and feelings and I realize that just because two people can't work in a marriage it doesn't make one or the other of the two people a 'bad' person. Oil and water do not mix! Just as sometimes things happen in life that mess with the 'mixture' of two people. I want Chad and I to have a relationship with all of his kids just as I want good relationships with my four children, and someone has to initiate the 'working through'. I chose that position as initiator and I'm glad I did. I think I could actually come to understand and be a friend to Gretchen (I know I am gonna try)we are all family after all. We are looking forward now to being one big happy family, I sure hope we all can look forward to our future and let the past stay in the past! People change as they age, and I think we have all changed. Life is good, and it is gonna just get better and better!