I've been thinking a lot about 'family' the last few days, and it has brought a lot of thoughts to mind. I think it is really hard for us to understand anyone who would intentionally or unintentionally hurt us, but it's just possible that the person didn't even know they hurt us, maybe they did but they were hurt and lashing out at us, or maybe they meant it, but those who meant it are not the ones I've actually ben thinking about, I've been thinking about those closest to us 'family' now we may not go out and befriend those in our families if they were not our family but they are and because they are don't we owe some sort of respect, loyalty, true caring and love? I think that Christ would expect us to treat our families at the very least as well as we treat our friends and acquaintances but do we? I'm having a hard time understanding why we can't all just love each other, now I don't mean we have to like what everyone does, we don't, but we should have some true heart felt feelings of good will towards our families. We should want the very best for each and every member of our family, close and extended, we should love them unconditionally, we don't have to like them and their every choice but we should feel love towards them. I think these days that maybe people in general are not as loving as they used to be. It is really sad to see, especially when it is your family members cutting you out of their lives. I think it is possibly even a worse offense to family members to pretend you like/love or care about them when in reality you don't. I don't think being fake is ok, I think that if you really don't love someone, then you shouldn't pretend to, because in the end you will only end up hurting and doing more damage to that family member. I am unsure how that should be handled but I'm a true firm believer that honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts! All in all if you do not truly care about someone in the long run it will hurt less if they know that instead of being led to believe you actually do care for them and then as it usually happens the truth always finds its way to the surface and then the pain will be unbearable for a time. Although for some reason God with all his knowledge chose to put us with our families, he believed we needed each other, I know he has infinite wisdom and I trust he knew what he was doing. I wonder then how do we fix it????
Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die--for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]
I think being forthright and open is the best way to start on the path to forgiveness afterall the reasons for the "dislike" may be a misconception or preconceived notion about the person!
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